How to Avoid Abusing Your Contacts

I hate asking people for things. It doesn’t matter if it’s someone at work, a member of my family, my wife, or a total stranger. If I have the option, I would rather tackle just about any issue on my own first.

However, after battling to land my first “real” job after school (about 5 years ago), I realized that the best way to find a job is to start, grow, and use your network. However, at some point, this involves asking those people in your network for anything from information to a job.

While I know that I need to use my network when looking for work, but I’m always worried about having those in my network feel used. This is why when I read 5 Networking Tips So Your Contacts Won’t Feel Used by Alexandra Levit, I knew I needed to share it.

To make her point, she has a blunt “letter” written from the perspective of a “user” (taken from a blog on Fortune):

Hey, Person I Need! Long time no talk! How are you?! Sorry I haven’t written you in 17 years — boy have I been busy — but here’s some contrived anecdote to show I’ve been thinking about you. Thought you’d like to hear these few random things that are going on with me, too. Oh, by the way, I was thinking you could hire me/refer me/help me in some other way I’ve been generous enough to dream up for you. And since I’m sure you’re dying to read my resume, it’s attached. Totally can’t wait to catch up!

Sincerely,

Most Transparent Jobseeker Ever

The entire article has some excellent advice, but there are two main points that you MUST take into consideration:

Facebook doesn’t change anything. In our age of social networking, it can be tempting to use the relaxed attitude of tools like Facebook to take the work out of networking. Even on the Web, people know when they’re being used, and they don’t like it. So apply the same amount of courtesy and concern there as you would everywhere else.

and:

Show a little gratitude. Remember that everyone, from the C-suite all the way down, is under pressure right now. So thank them for their time, and if they make an effort to respond, even if they don’t say much, realize it means something — and say so.

So I need you to do two things.

First, take this advice to heart. It is key to the long-term health of your network.

Second, read the rest of Alexandra’s advice. It might make the difference between a strong network and one that is completely useless.